The Art of Tongue Control

This always seems to happen to me on days I work at home. The work office offers a slight escape from my brain that I otherwise have a hard time silencing when alone in my home.

I was listening to my i-tunes while working and a recording from one of my favorite sermons came up in the queue. Pastor Dan from Calvary church in Manteca (where I attended every Sunday through most of my high school years) is the pastor I have the most respect for and actually pay attention to. His sermons are relevant, and always remind us that we are not perfect, but we can strive to make our lives and the lives of those around us better. I love that he always includes himself in with those who struggle, instead of putting his righteous self on the pedestal above us. Yes, he's a trained servant of God ... but yes, he's still human and makes mistakes. That's the most personal relevance I can think of when it comes to spiritual lecturing.

This particular sermon was part of his Learning Self Control series he did back in 2000. It connected with me on such a personal level that I requested a copy of it on cd so I could remind myself of who I want to be to my family, to my friends and to myself. Basically, it's about learning to control what you say; to think before you speak. I can recall several times when I've shoved my foot in my mouth and felt instant regret for things I've said to someone or about someone. This is not who I want to be. I need to practice restraint, and to only speak when what I have to say is honest, helpful and inspirational to do so. The tongue is a very powerful weapon that can tear relationships apart in a second. It's a weapon that needs to be kept under tight control.

Pastor Dan quoted "you have more to gain from a friend who is honest, than from a friend with a flattering tongue." I just wish everyone would see this. So many out there are horrified of the truth and want nothing to do with hearing it. Which in turn makes friends shy away from telling it. Either way, I want to be able to tell the truth to a friend when it is important to do so. Should I not feel it necessary information for their well-being, I'd like to be able to shut my mouth and say nothing at all rather than give false hopes or lie to make them momentarily happier. It's a real struggle for me, especially when most friends really like the flattery.

But it's just not right if a friendship is only good for the flattery. Where is the friend of substance? The friend that will actually be a shoulder to lean on and not be afraid to cut you a bit to help you heal? Those are few and very far between.