And then there were none

Yesterday was a great day, for many reasons. I got to spend time with my husband and some of our closest friends, and I tried something new. I wasn't sure if I was going to post about this but it turns out I just can't resist. I've never been one to be embarrassed to talk.

The morning started out the same as every Saturday. Coffee, 9am, at Pete's with Debi and Cathy. It's become a ritual now and I love it. After 1-2 hours of gabbing outside in the beautiful California spring weather, we drive a bit down the road to the farmer's market. We make our produce purchases and part ways for the weekend.

But not this weekend.

After the market we headed to Ulta because we had appointments to get makeovers. Debi and I wanted to learn how to do a smok(e)y eye for the few times we go out at night. My girl sucked. I should have known based on her own makeup. Anyway, I ended up taking most of it off as soon as she was done (although not in front of her). Debi's girl did a great job so I'll have to ask Debi to pass on the pointers.

Soon after we were made over, the three musketeers headed to .... dun dun dun ... the European Wax Center. Because I was inspired by my two sexy friends to just suck it up and wax myself. Since they both do it regularly, I was the only one who needed attention and I was nervous beyond belief once we got there.

I'll try to spare you as many gory details as I can. So my name was called and I made my way back into the little room. The lady that would be getting up close and personal with me told me to strip bare from the waist down. I thought she'd leave the room. Nope. So I repeated my mantra over and over in my head "She looks at vaginas all the time. You're just another vagina." I was secretly hoping I never see her out in public. She asked me if I wanted a full bikini (which is all hair gone but the butt strip) or a Brazilian (which is everything gone). I opted for the full bikini for the first time out. I'm not sure I'm ready for the butt strip.

I was shaking. I wasn't nervous about her seeing my parts, I get over that quickly, but worried of what I knew was coming. P-A-I-N. I lay on the table in the "butterfly" position with my hands gripping the top of the head rest behind my head. Then came the wax. It was really warm and I could feel it slide all around. She did one side, then she did the other. I was waiting for her to put the paper on. Silly expectations. Instead of putting the paper on, she started feeling the wax on the first side and then ripped away. I wasn't ready for it and screamed a little. My nerves were on fire. Same thing to the next side. This went on for about 15 minutes. Wax, wait, rip, scream! I asked "Is it a war zone down there?" She laughed.

Apparently the first time is the worst time; your hairs are so coarse and there are so many to rip out. But as it grows back in it supposedly gets finer and fewer. I got a special serum to use to shrink up the pores after showering and a magic lotion that's supposed to slow growth. We'll see. But I've been going commando for the last two days to help prevent in-grown hairs. It's weird, and I don't really recognize myself down there. But come the chance to don my bikini-bottomed swimsuit I'm going to be a very happy woman.

Thanks to my friends for their moral support. :-)

What a Quack

We watched the Marriage Ref last night and there was a couple fighting about their pet ducks' eggs. The husband wanted to eat them but the wife refused to eat an egg that came out of her pets' butts. I would have been all over those eggs in a heart beat. Duck eggs are lower in cholesterol than chicken eggs and are supposedly really good for treating/preventing migraines.

Anyway, our wheels started turning.

After doing some research on the zoning codes of our property it turns out we're in a low-density zone and can therefore have poultry so long as it's contained 40 feet from any property lines.

Cost of a female duckling: $5 - $15 (they can start laying around 4 months). They usually lay eggs every morning. That's a lot of "free" breakfast! It certainly would save us money at the grocery store and would be healthier than eating store bought eggs. We'll just need to create a little duck house under the pine tree in the shade for her to hang out when it's hot.

Ducks love eating slugs and snails. Lord knows we have plenty of those in our yard. We already have a pond with a plastic duck in it ... why not the real thing? One little duck couldn't be any louder than the choir of frogs we hear every night.

Anyway, it's mostly talk at this point. I've still got a lot of research to do on the subject. But who knows, I could have a pet duck sometime in the near future. I've already decided I'm naming her Kevin.

Brazil, anyone?

I've made a big decision. Ok, so maybe it isn't a big decision but it's a very personal one. Yes, that's right, I've decided to get waxed. Down there. All of it. Gone. For the first time.

I'm a little nervous, but I handle pain and discomfort well (of course I do, I'm a woman) so I'm sure I'll be fine. It's more the fear of the unknown, and letting a stranger near my nether regions. The best I can do is pretend she's a doctor and carry on from there.

I'll post an update when it's done. Or maybe I won't.

Sprung

We've had a cooler/wetter spring than normal this year. As a result, our garden is flourishing! The roses are just starting to peak out the flowers out front are fuller and brighter than they've ever been. There's one particular rose in the front yard that's doing really well right now. Last year it was a bare root that had a tough time getting started. Apparently it just needed some time.



I had to bump up the contrast quite a bit when transferring it to black and white, but I love the look of it. Very Georgia O'keefe.

Just us

Over the last few months I've been making a habit of watching Dr. Oz while working from home. And since the dreaded Oprah is on afterward, I usually leave it on if she has an interesting guest (interesting enough to make up for Oprah).

Today is a show about married couples who don't have sex. One woman was disgusted by the idea of kissing her husband and actually bartered items for sex: "If you take out the garbage, I'll have sex with you." "If you make the girls' lunches, I'll have sex with you," etc. She was disgusted by the idea of kissing because she kept thinking of her girls and being a mom though that if she gets turned on by someone then her girls will lose her. I guess something happened to her as a young girl. Her mother met a new man and married him, and as a 14 yr old girl she saw it as losing her mother to this man.

The other couple hadn't had sex in 2 1/2 years. She had been raped while in college by a boy she knew and never told anyone. Later in her marriage the stress of that burden began to wear on her, to the point where she no longer desired to put herself in that position. The effort was too much for her.

Both husbands in these instances were flabbergasted by their wives' mental states, but stuck it out. Both cases included completely tired mothers who couldn't handle juggling "mommy" and "wife", or couldn't separate the two personalities.

I just pray throughout our many years ahead together, that my sex life with my husband never takes a back seat. And apparently, just avoiding the "having kids" issue will make it a lot easier.

Just us.

Slippery

Regardless of how silly these seem, they are right up my alley. I'm so excited to dust my new floors while I scoot around the house. I'm a big fan of slippers, so I might as well wear some with another useful function! Glamorous!

http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/chicago/cleaning/dust-mop-slippers-041893

Accomplished Exhaustion

I'm ready for my house to be livable again. Between the tools, dust, clutter and the cement flooring I'm trying really hard not to have a nervous break down. Or at least trying to handle it with grace. It's going ok but the agitation is getting difficult to suppress at this point. At least it will all be over soon and I'll be able to deep-clean it all. The new flooring will be in by the end of the weekend and our lives will start their journey back to normalcy and comfort.

But I am happy that we're doing this all ourselves and that we'll be able to look back on it with pride and accomplishment. The house is going to look so beautiful and I'm so excited that this was all possible. Despite the "pain" involved. :-)

We all fall

Our Friends

We have fabulous people in our lives. It's fantastic that such a great group of individuals from all walks of life can sit down and not only enjoy each others' differences but can embrace them, learn from them and, ultimately, laugh hysterically at them. I consider myself blessed to know them.

Last night we got together with these very people. We enjoyed delicious food, great conversation and the perfect backyard bonfire. Not a bad way to spend an evening. Especially when every person in the group owns Great Danes ... It's what we all have in common, and what brought us all together.

It's a beautiful weekend

Just a typical day here. Soaking up the sun and relaxing.
My dogs are constant reminders to make time to rest, and just enjoy "being" now and then.

Me? Domestic?

I've had a few friends tell me I'm turning domestic. I make apple pies like there's no tomorrow now; my fridge doesn't seem complete without their leftovers as a dessert option. I have also learned to knit. Which either makes me "domestic", or elderly. I prefer the former.

So what if I'm domestic? I always have been at heart. I actually love staying at home, enjoying the space I've created for my little family. I even made cinnamon pumpkin rolls from scratch last night. Domestic, I am. However, maternal, I am not. There lies a chasm of difference between one side and the other.

Even though I can appreciate cute kids swinging on the arms of their doting parents, and while I can also enjoy the wonderful experience of seeing a child's eyes light up when learning something new ... I'm still not 100% sure it's right for me. I am almost certain the stress of child-rearing would kill me. I already have mini heart attacks on days I have to drive to work during rush hour. Is a child supposed to be easier to manage than that? No.

And although I love the idea of having my own offspring one day ... picking out a cute name and dressing my blond, blue-eyed, big-headed baby boy in a red plaid eddie bauer fleece and baggy baby chords (for instance) ... I'm still pretty sure at least for tonight that I'm just not cut out for the job.

I love staying up late, and sleeping in late. I love the peace and quiet I always have in my house when I want it. I love being able to say anything I want outloud. I love driving like a bat out of hell. I love not having to talk about babies all day. I love not having to attend school functions. I love not having to leave work early because my child threw up in class. I love not having to worry about them being over-vaccinated. I love not having to worry about bad grades and disappointments. I love not having to worry about whether or not they'll say yes to the man in the van handing out candy as they walk home from school. I love not having to worry about whether they'll have the self-esteem and self-respect it takes to not be a total whore in high school.

But who knows ... maybe one day I'll also have those cute faces and personalities in our life. After all, I've already picked out their names.

Concrete Jungle

Well, we got the carpet up and are almost done scraping the paper and glue off in the kitchen and bathrooms. There is quite a bit of patching to do to the concrete including a few huge cracks that we'll need to level the area around. Good thing we started early. This is a slow-going process! It feels nice to have the carpet up, even if my feet are cold. The dogs HATE it and were clinging to the last bit of carpet as it was ripped out. Once it was gone, they ran to the bedroom and went to bed. The cats love it though. They spent a good few minutes racing around on the concrete floor and sliding around the corners. Funny how a change in scenery can bring out different antics in them.

We're sore and tired but feel accomplished. No going back now.

Deconstructionist movement

Almost 3 years after moving into our home, our flooring remodel is underway. We are laying wood laminate in the kitchen, living room, hallway, laundry room and both bathrooms. Yes, we're insane to try this ourselves. But when there's a budget, you do what you can to stick to it. It'll take longer than if professionals were laying it, but I think we'll appreciate it more by doing it ourselves anyway.

The flooring was ordered last week and we're waiting for it to come in so we can pick it up at the warehouse. We got a beautiful walnut color, 12mm thick, for only $1.49 a sq ft. We ordered 850 sq ft. I'm hoping it actually looks great once we have it installed, hard to imagine when all you have to go on is a small 5x5 sample.

We began ripping up the linoleum Monday evening. It was glued much more than we assumed it would be, so we're having a heck of a time scraping it off the concrete slab. Slowly and surely, this will get done. Especially with the help of our awesome, die-hard friends who are helping us through our process. We are very, very thankful for all of them and apologize in advance for any wounds or broken body parts when we're done. :)

This is our kitchen floor under the knife.

Knit two, purl two, slip stitch

I quickly decided that crocheting was not for me due to the uncomfortable pain it caused my hand. So, instead I signed up for knitting classes. I LOVE IT! It's something fun I can relax and concentrate on. It's almost therapeutic. Until I screw a knit or purl up and have to figure out where I went wrong. That gets a little frustrating, but the more I make mistakes and fix them, the better I get.

For our 3rd class, we learned how to make a ruffle scarf. It's not finished yet, but I'm on my way. I also made an apple pie. I'm such a homemaker these days. :)

A New Skill

Crocheting.
I have decided to learn a new skill. At least I hope it will become one. I really need a creative outlet that allows me to stay relaxed and comfortable on my couch. I love painting but have come to realize that the clutter and mess of it ruins the fun for me (which is why I haven't attempted it in years). The idea of cleaning up everything and scrubbing dried paint out of my brushes and hands overwhelms me. Lame, I know. But I've learned over the years that it's not so easy to change myself. Instead I try to find ways to deal with me. Knitting and crocheting are appealing because I can still enjoy the couch and tv while making something beautiful at the same time. And it doesn't involve a computer — the best part. I've been spending precious hours online with nothing to show for it but way too many status updates on Facebook. Who knows ... maybe I was born to crochet? I've always wanted to be crafty, so now I'm going to make the attempt.

There's a little yarn shop in town next to the coffee shop where I always meet two close friends on Saturday mornings. We're going to check it out. They offer classes for all skill levels and I'm pretty excited about enrolling in one.

I just want to find something I'm really good at. That I can profit from and enjoy. That I can have a true passion for. I'd like to say that was graphic design ... but some days all it feels like is my "job" and not my love.

Maybe my thoughts are going overboard, but hey ... a girl can dream.