Any given Monday

A typical working Monday in our house, or any other weekday, may look a little something like this: me on the couch, laptop in use, dogs hanging out throughout the house. However, if said dogs could talk, a typical day would probably sound a bit like this:

"Hey." Lola places her head on the couch next to me while wagging her tail.

"Hey. Now go lie down, I'm working." I push her head away and point toward the bed.

"I need to go out. I'm pretty sure I need to."

"But you just went out not ten minutes ago."

"But this time I have to poop. I'm pretty sure I really need to poop."

"I told you to poop the last time you were out."

"But I didn't have to poop then. Now I do."

"Dog, if I let you out you better poop."

"I will. I promise."

I get up off the couch, which is no easy feat when another basset hound and a Great Dane are lying on my legs. My movement wakes Georgia up.

"Are you going to feed me?"

"No, Georgia." She settles back down.

I walk Lola out to the side yard so she can do her business. When she's done, I sit back down on the couch, laptop on my legs, wearing my glasses and my wrist braces, and get back to work on my current task.

2 minutes later, I hear a bell ring. It's the one attached to the door to the backyard. The one the dogs ring to tell me they need to go outside.

dingaling dingaling aling. 

I ignore it.

DINGALING A LING A LING DINGALING

Lucy stands by the door, one eye on me, ringing the bell with forceful deliberation.

"Lucy, lie down."

"But I have to go outside."

"Why didn't you go outside when I let Lola out?"

"I don't know. I wasn't feeling it."

"But you are now?"

"Yeah. Duh. I'm ringing the bell aren't I?"

"Fine." I sigh. "But you're staying out there for awhile."

"Whatever."

I get up, again, to open the back door for a dog, again. My movement wakes Georgia up, again.

"Are you going to feed me?"

"No, Georgia." She settles back down.

The door opens and Lucy runs straight up onto the hot tub and settles in for a nap in the sun. At least she'll be out there awhile. I sit back down on the couch and put my laptop back on my legs.

In the middle of an email ... RINAGALING A LING DINGALING A RING

"Lola, what the hell?"

"I wanna be on the hot tub too."

"Fine! But you're staying out there for awhile too." 

"Ok, just let me out. Please. Please. Let me out. Please."

"UGH!"

I get up, again. To open the door for a dog, again. My movement wakes Georgia up, again.

"Are you going to feed me?"

"No, Georgia!" She settles back down with a very heavy sigh.

Lola hops on the hot tub and settles down to sniff the air and stare at birds and critters in the back yard. Lucy basks in the 95º sun. I sit back down on the couch, laptop back on my legs, so I can finally finish the email I've been writing for the last five minutes.

But now I have to go to the bathroom.

It's amazing I get any work done.