Family Matters and Happy New Year!

2012 was an incredible year for my family in a way we could have never expected. As time passes, we've lost relatives we've loved and the family numbers have declined. The "youngens" haven't reproduced yet and are still the babies, even though we're all around 30 years old. (Don't pressure us!) But that was all about to change. 

One afternoon I got the strangest call from both of my parents on speakerphone. Dad said "Your Grandma has a secret, and you'll never guess what it is." What I learned that day has been, and will always be, one of the most amazing days in the history of my family. 

Grandma told the story in a letter she sent out with her Christmas cards and I thought it would be neat to relay it in her words:

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Once upon a time, there was a handsome Second Lieutenant in the U.S. Army Air Corps. His name was Jack Lewis Oliver. After receiving his wings, he went home to Onawa, Iowa to visit his parents. 

As fate would have it, a student at Morningside College in Sioux City went home with her roommate to Onawa for the weekend. Her name was Jean Louis Arends. She met the handsome second Lieutentant and it was love at first sight for both of them. 

The next few months were taken up with trying to spend time with each other and ended with an announcement of their engagement and orders for Jack to join the other pilots in the Pacific. 

Jean traveled with her sister to Oakland, CA to be as close as possible to her fiancé but then she realized she was pregant!?!?! Jack was in the Pacific and couldn't return (but he wrote every day.) They decided she would have the baby and adopt it out. 

And so she did! Remember, this was 1943-1944 and Jean's father was a minister! The shame! The papers were signed and the cute little baby disappeared. Jack served in the Pacific, returning to Jean in 1946 and they were married by her father on May 2, 1946. 

66 years later, the cute little baby wrote a letter to her biological mother, Jean, and they were magically reunited. All was joy and jubiliation, except that the handsome Lt. had died and never saw his oldest daugther. But Jean has now been given a second chance with her first daughter, Marilyn Jean, son-in-law, Joel, two grandsons, Mark and Craig and their wives, and four great-grandchildren. What happiness! Jean is delighted to see her cute, little baby grown up, and Marilyn is happy to have found her mother, two fully biological siblings, and learn why she is allergic to sulfa (and other genetic information she should know.)

So, 2012 was a great year and will add so much to our holiday celebrations! We doubled the number of our family members and couldn't be happier!

May your Christmas also be twice as happy (maybe not in the same way) but we all send you our best wishes for a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! 

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I am still in shock! To think I have a new aunt, a new uncle and two new cousins with wives and kids of their own! And my dad and aunt have a full-blooded older sister. What's even more amazing is that they all live within two hours from each other. I am so excited to finally get to meet everyone on one of my return trips to California. This truly will always be a year that will go down in family history. Our tree is looking mighty healthy and full. 

The Lord may taketh away ... but he also giveth!

I will never forget that. 

Ashes to ocean ... or not

We experienced yet another family adventure this weekend, rivaling those of the Griswold family. It all goes back to January, when my great aunt, Terry, passed away. Since then we've been cleaning out her things and waiting for a chance to get the whole family together to celebrate her life.

June 12th was the date finally set. The plan was to get the family together and since Terry was cremated we would gently spread her ashes in the Pacific Ocean. She lived in Pacific Grove/Monterey, practically on the beach; it was where she called home. After our "spreading" we had a lovely gathering planned with Terry's best friends and family in her favorite restaurant. All in all, the recipe for a beautiful day.



Which takes us to Saturday. The family gathered and enjoyed some lunch together before finding a discrete location for the "ceremony." It was a warm, sunny day in Pacific Grove which really brings the crowds down to the coastline. The leader of the expedition, one of Terry's friends, took us to a "deserted cove." Which was actually fairly busy.

Since ash spreading without a permit is illegal, we huddled together in a group so onlookers couldn't see what we were doing. The idea was to get the box of ashes open so each person could take a small amount in a cup and spread them over the water (and over the edge of the rocks where we were standing was a group of scuba divers.) This was getting better by the second.

My dad noticed the box of ashes was screwed shut. After finding a screwdriver he began work on the screws. Meanwhile I'm wondering why Terry was in this wooden box when she was originally placed in a metal one. Grandma said she couldn't remember transferring Terry to this box; she would have remembered unscrewing it open. But this is the box she brought down with her from Alameda (she's had possession of her sister's remains since she was cremated.)

Dad shook the box. No sound. He said "this feels really light to me."

Finally, he gets the box open and we see it's empty. On the back is a sticker with my grandfather's name, who passed away and was sent out to sea three years ago. It was his box. Grandma had brought the wrong one.

And we all said (mostly through tears of laughter) " ..... so .... where the heck is Terry?"



We all got a good laugh and my mom made plans to come back down next month with Grandma to help her spread the ashes then, on Terry's birthday. The rest of the afternoon was spent with a lovely group of people who all shared their fondest memories of Terry. She was quite a woman, and it was quite a wake. Even in death, she's still making us laugh. And we're still not sure where she is.

Another week has passed

It's been a long week, but a productive week. Work is busy and I'm trying to stay on top of everything, even the little things I just don't have time for. But, what can you do? Just try to make it work out. Being short-staffed does have the advantage of never lacking a to-do list. Although I do wish I had more time for "catching up and getting ahead." I really don't think that's going to happen anytime soon since it's reliant on multiple people. Oh well.

Tomorrow is my second weigh-in at Weight Watchers. I went last week and had gained half a pound. Back up to 150. I was a bit discouraged because I had been eating so few calories all week while still eating within my points range. But on the plus side, I do feel great and my body feels great and I'm at least happy that I'm putting premium fuel in my tank. We'll see what the results are tomorrow, after two weeks on the plan. Neil has already lost visible weight, which I'm jealous of and proud of all at once. Guys sit and lose weight. We women have to wait, and sometimes even work at it. Figures. The group leader said it was because a woman's body is designed to store fat for pregnancy. Well, not THIS woman's body. Too bad we can't opt out of certain female features. Just like how I want to opt out of paying into social security since I have no chance of ever seeing my cut.

Had lunch with the sis-in-law today. It was fun to see her, and it has been awhile since the last time. Her birthday is in August and so we're planning a trip to meet her in Watsonville. A trip to cooler weather is sounding mighty good right about now.

Into the Void

I was rambling in the car at Neil tonight, about life and his responsibilities if we ever had a kid. He shot me down quickly with a very firm "I don't want kids."

I've known this about him. I know why he doesn't want them, and I get it. I've never wanted them myself and have always been awkward around them. But, as my body is changing, so is my heart.

I was a fool for thinking he would change his mind, and a fool for thinking I wouldn't. And now I know a loneliness ... a void ... I never knew was there. And so I cry for the child I will never have, never raise and never share my life with. But only for a little while. Because I knew this day would come even before I said "I do."