A New Skill

Crocheting.
I have decided to learn a new skill. At least I hope it will become one. I really need a creative outlet that allows me to stay relaxed and comfortable on my couch. I love painting but have come to realize that the clutter and mess of it ruins the fun for me (which is why I haven't attempted it in years). The idea of cleaning up everything and scrubbing dried paint out of my brushes and hands overwhelms me. Lame, I know. But I've learned over the years that it's not so easy to change myself. Instead I try to find ways to deal with me. Knitting and crocheting are appealing because I can still enjoy the couch and tv while making something beautiful at the same time. And it doesn't involve a computer — the best part. I've been spending precious hours online with nothing to show for it but way too many status updates on Facebook. Who knows ... maybe I was born to crochet? I've always wanted to be crafty, so now I'm going to make the attempt.

There's a little yarn shop in town next to the coffee shop where I always meet two close friends on Saturday mornings. We're going to check it out. They offer classes for all skill levels and I'm pretty excited about enrolling in one.

I just want to find something I'm really good at. That I can profit from and enjoy. That I can have a true passion for. I'd like to say that was graphic design ... but some days all it feels like is my "job" and not my love.

Maybe my thoughts are going overboard, but hey ... a girl can dream.

A trip to the past

The other night, just for fun, I decided to take a journey to the past. Yes, that's right, I'm a master of space and time. At least in cyberspace. Where my very first blog lives forever, until I decide to cut the lifeline.

This blog holds a special place in my heart. Its contents document not only the start of my college life, but the beginning of my life with Neil; how we met and how our relationship grew over the years. It was quite an experience, reading what "past me" had to say about the world.

I sure was opinionated then. That hasn't changed much but I like to think that I put more thought into my words now. I was also immature then ... so many thoughts lacking verbal finesse. It's almost embarrassing to read. I had no clue who I was or what I wanted from life, but there was a certain energy I fed on. It was a life of very few responsibilities, very little stress and a lot of new friends. A much simpler time, but certainly not as fulfilled as my life eventually would become. Today it's nice to recognize, no matter how much I feel unsure of it, that I really have grown up.

But being able to pinpoint the very moment I fell in love with Neil, as told through the words of a 19-year-old forever locked in cyber-print.... is priceless.

Wrong Is the New Right

Just when I think the world couldn't be more backward than it already is, I'm proven wrong. So many bad decisions, so many issues ... but somehow it all "works out" for them, at least on the surface. And I sit back, observing, taking notes. I bite my tongue while reminding myself to be patient because it needs to be right; that one day it will be right for me and the scenery in my bubble will change.