And then there were none

Yesterday was a great day, for many reasons. I got to spend time with my husband and some of our closest friends, and I tried something new. I wasn't sure if I was going to post about this but it turns out I just can't resist. I've never been one to be embarrassed to talk.

The morning started out the same as every Saturday. Coffee, 9am, at Pete's with Debi and Cathy. It's become a ritual now and I love it. After 1-2 hours of gabbing outside in the beautiful California spring weather, we drive a bit down the road to the farmer's market. We make our produce purchases and part ways for the weekend.

But not this weekend.

After the market we headed to Ulta because we had appointments to get makeovers. Debi and I wanted to learn how to do a smok(e)y eye for the few times we go out at night. My girl sucked. I should have known based on her own makeup. Anyway, I ended up taking most of it off as soon as she was done (although not in front of her). Debi's girl did a great job so I'll have to ask Debi to pass on the pointers.

Soon after we were made over, the three musketeers headed to .... dun dun dun ... the European Wax Center. Because I was inspired by my two sexy friends to just suck it up and wax myself. Since they both do it regularly, I was the only one who needed attention and I was nervous beyond belief once we got there.

I'll try to spare you as many gory details as I can. So my name was called and I made my way back into the little room. The lady that would be getting up close and personal with me told me to strip bare from the waist down. I thought she'd leave the room. Nope. So I repeated my mantra over and over in my head "She looks at vaginas all the time. You're just another vagina." I was secretly hoping I never see her out in public. She asked me if I wanted a full bikini (which is all hair gone but the butt strip) or a Brazilian (which is everything gone). I opted for the full bikini for the first time out. I'm not sure I'm ready for the butt strip.

I was shaking. I wasn't nervous about her seeing my parts, I get over that quickly, but worried of what I knew was coming. P-A-I-N. I lay on the table in the "butterfly" position with my hands gripping the top of the head rest behind my head. Then came the wax. It was really warm and I could feel it slide all around. She did one side, then she did the other. I was waiting for her to put the paper on. Silly expectations. Instead of putting the paper on, she started feeling the wax on the first side and then ripped away. I wasn't ready for it and screamed a little. My nerves were on fire. Same thing to the next side. This went on for about 15 minutes. Wax, wait, rip, scream! I asked "Is it a war zone down there?" She laughed.

Apparently the first time is the worst time; your hairs are so coarse and there are so many to rip out. But as it grows back in it supposedly gets finer and fewer. I got a special serum to use to shrink up the pores after showering and a magic lotion that's supposed to slow growth. We'll see. But I've been going commando for the last two days to help prevent in-grown hairs. It's weird, and I don't really recognize myself down there. But come the chance to don my bikini-bottomed swimsuit I'm going to be a very happy woman.

Thanks to my friends for their moral support. :-)

What a Quack

We watched the Marriage Ref last night and there was a couple fighting about their pet ducks' eggs. The husband wanted to eat them but the wife refused to eat an egg that came out of her pets' butts. I would have been all over those eggs in a heart beat. Duck eggs are lower in cholesterol than chicken eggs and are supposedly really good for treating/preventing migraines.

Anyway, our wheels started turning.

After doing some research on the zoning codes of our property it turns out we're in a low-density zone and can therefore have poultry so long as it's contained 40 feet from any property lines.

Cost of a female duckling: $5 - $15 (they can start laying around 4 months). They usually lay eggs every morning. That's a lot of "free" breakfast! It certainly would save us money at the grocery store and would be healthier than eating store bought eggs. We'll just need to create a little duck house under the pine tree in the shade for her to hang out when it's hot.

Ducks love eating slugs and snails. Lord knows we have plenty of those in our yard. We already have a pond with a plastic duck in it ... why not the real thing? One little duck couldn't be any louder than the choir of frogs we hear every night.

Anyway, it's mostly talk at this point. I've still got a lot of research to do on the subject. But who knows, I could have a pet duck sometime in the near future. I've already decided I'm naming her Kevin.

Brazil, anyone?

I've made a big decision. Ok, so maybe it isn't a big decision but it's a very personal one. Yes, that's right, I've decided to get waxed. Down there. All of it. Gone. For the first time.

I'm a little nervous, but I handle pain and discomfort well (of course I do, I'm a woman) so I'm sure I'll be fine. It's more the fear of the unknown, and letting a stranger near my nether regions. The best I can do is pretend she's a doctor and carry on from there.

I'll post an update when it's done. Or maybe I won't.

Sprung

We've had a cooler/wetter spring than normal this year. As a result, our garden is flourishing! The roses are just starting to peak out the flowers out front are fuller and brighter than they've ever been. There's one particular rose in the front yard that's doing really well right now. Last year it was a bare root that had a tough time getting started. Apparently it just needed some time.



I had to bump up the contrast quite a bit when transferring it to black and white, but I love the look of it. Very Georgia O'keefe.

Just us

Over the last few months I've been making a habit of watching Dr. Oz while working from home. And since the dreaded Oprah is on afterward, I usually leave it on if she has an interesting guest (interesting enough to make up for Oprah).

Today is a show about married couples who don't have sex. One woman was disgusted by the idea of kissing her husband and actually bartered items for sex: "If you take out the garbage, I'll have sex with you." "If you make the girls' lunches, I'll have sex with you," etc. She was disgusted by the idea of kissing because she kept thinking of her girls and being a mom though that if she gets turned on by someone then her girls will lose her. I guess something happened to her as a young girl. Her mother met a new man and married him, and as a 14 yr old girl she saw it as losing her mother to this man.

The other couple hadn't had sex in 2 1/2 years. She had been raped while in college by a boy she knew and never told anyone. Later in her marriage the stress of that burden began to wear on her, to the point where she no longer desired to put herself in that position. The effort was too much for her.

Both husbands in these instances were flabbergasted by their wives' mental states, but stuck it out. Both cases included completely tired mothers who couldn't handle juggling "mommy" and "wife", or couldn't separate the two personalities.

I just pray throughout our many years ahead together, that my sex life with my husband never takes a back seat. And apparently, just avoiding the "having kids" issue will make it a lot easier.

Just us.

Slippery

Regardless of how silly these seem, they are right up my alley. I'm so excited to dust my new floors while I scoot around the house. I'm a big fan of slippers, so I might as well wear some with another useful function! Glamorous!

http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/chicago/cleaning/dust-mop-slippers-041893

Accomplished Exhaustion

I'm ready for my house to be livable again. Between the tools, dust, clutter and the cement flooring I'm trying really hard not to have a nervous break down. Or at least trying to handle it with grace. It's going ok but the agitation is getting difficult to suppress at this point. At least it will all be over soon and I'll be able to deep-clean it all. The new flooring will be in by the end of the weekend and our lives will start their journey back to normalcy and comfort.

But I am happy that we're doing this all ourselves and that we'll be able to look back on it with pride and accomplishment. The house is going to look so beautiful and I'm so excited that this was all possible. Despite the "pain" involved. :-)